Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Regret...

I don't like to have regrets in life as I try so hard to stay positive.

I do feel regret for this situation I am in...

I regret thinking it was 'just a routine op'.... There is just no such thing in life. I know this even with humans.

I regret not kissing you goodbye that day, I seriously thought you would just be home that evening..

I regret not keeping you home that day, I wish I had... 

I regret that the beautiful weather has finally arrived and you are not here to enjoy it.

I regret that your favourite hay I ordered arrived today and you are not here to enjoy it.

I regret that our children will never meet you.

I regret that I never spent every waking moment with you, all my animals are so independent.

I regret that your girls are missing you so much as well....

I regret that we only have a handful of photos together.

I regret that we are separated, because it hurts so much...

But I am so thankful for having spent almost 4 years with you.

I am so thankful that you were my sweet companion and what we shared with you really was sacred.

I am trying so hard to be brave, today I even left the house! I hid under the duvet and cried all day yesterday! I have been trying hard to focus on my sadness and do the things that make me happy. It's hard to hold it all together but I wanted to share my work in progress as I always find that creating heals...

Presenting: My big afghan blanket. 




I started this project last year (oops) for me to keep. I usually crochet and knit for others and I rarely take the time to make things for myself. This blanket is based on a simple granny square, 15 rows in total, 10 using the main colour and 5 in the contrasting colour.  I am going to make 12 rows in total and then use a colour to join and frame them, and finally border the entire blanket. I have no idea how large it will be but it will be perfect for snuggling under. 

I love to make bright things, and these colours are fab. Usually I don't enjoying crafting with acrylic yarn but this is really lovely.  Stylecraft yarns are very reasonable this one is the special DK which is about £1.50 a ball, I think that that makes this project very budget friendly indeed. 

I had so much fun choosing and ordering the colours. I just need to spend some time finishing it, which is what I am going to do. I have really neglected my hobbies, mostly due to guilt (notice a theme here?!) as I am always worried I should be doing other things... namely my dissertation! But less of the guilt. I need to heal so a little hook and yarn is my saviour!

1 comment :

  1. I am so sorry for your loss, sending you virtual hugs :)

    ReplyDelete